1. Recognize that your sex drive and frequency of sex will fluctuate over time.
Psychological, hormonal, social, relational, and cultural elements all influence your ability for sexual feelings. Age, stress, mental health difficulties, relationship issues, medications, physical health, and other factors can all impact your libido.
Accepting that your sex drive may fluctuate is critical, so you don’t make hasty judgments and add to your stress. Of course, if you’re concerned about a chronic health condition that could be causing a lack of libido, you should see a doctor right away. Your sex desire, on the other hand, will not always be consistent, and you may make matters worse if you become nervous about changes or think of them as permanent.
Instead of over-analyzing, stressing, or projecting, remind yourself that changes in desire are normal and that stress is often linked to a drop in appetite. It is really good to manage your stress.
2. Flirt with your partner and try to move physically with them.
Kissing, snuggling, and other displays of affection can be extremely relaxing and beneficial to our bodies, particularly when we are stressed.
A backrub or massage from your lover, for example, might help you relax by releasing tension and stress. While watching TV, you can stay physically connected by holding hands. These simple gestures can also assist in establishing the tone for sex but keep your expectations in check.
Enjoy other forms of physical intimacy instead, and be open to these actions leading to more. You could accidentally create another barrier if you emphasize physical touch, leading to actual intercourse.
3. Be forthright and honest when discussing sex.
Even in tight partnerships and marriages, sex is frequently regarded as an awkward subject. Many couples find it difficult to openly and productively discuss their sex life because one or both partners are embarrassed, humiliated, or uneasy.
Dissatisfaction and avoidance are sometimes perpetuated by not being open about your sexual wants, anxieties, and feelings. As a result, it’s critical to develop the ability to articulate yourself and discuss sex safely and openly. Be polite and patient with your spouse while talking about any sexual concerns, wants, or desires (or lack thereof). If your anxiety or stress affects your sex drive, tell your partner, so they don’t make assumptions or take it personally.
Also, talk about your sexual tastes, preferences, dreams, and sexual initiation to improve your relationship and make sure you’re on the same page.
4. Don’t Put Off Taking Action Until You Have a Strong Desire to Do So
If you’re used to having a stronger sex drive and waiting for it to return in full power before doing anything sexual, you might reconsider your strategy. Because you can’t control your desire or sex drive and will be frustrated if you try, the healthier technique may be to initiate sex or respond to your partner’s advances even if you aren’t fully turned on.
Despite initially having little desire or incentive to be sexual during extremely stressful situations, you may be shocked by your degree of arousal once things get rolling. Bonus: Did you know that attempting a new activity with a partner can boost arousal levels?
5. Recognize and Prioritize Your Emotional Connection Despite Your Lack of Desire
Because emotional intimacy leads to greater sex, it’s critical to focus on maintaining your emotional connection regardless of how stressed you are.
It’s casual for your sex drive to fluctuate, as previously said. Your sex drive may be affected by periods of extreme stress or anxiety. These changes may cause you to doubt your feelings for your partner or trigger negative emotions, making you feel more distant and disconnected.
It’s critical to distinguish between relationship troubles and other influences that could be affecting your sex drive. Is there an underlying difficulty in your relationship that must be addressed, or is a stressor from outside, such as financial instability caused by COVID-19, interfering with desire? Focus on what’s going on in your life to figure out what’s going on.
If you identify outside stressors as the major impediments, avoid blaming your partner for your sex life feeling off track. While you manage whatever gets in the way sexually, find ways to be emotionally connected and intimate with your partner. This is critical since emotional disconnection can obstruct a healthy sexual life.
It requires effort to manage your stress to not interfere with your sexual life. Discuss your worries and fears, offer emotional support, continue to build trust, and spend quality time together.
Make every effort to keep your relationship emotionally, physically, and sexually intimate.
When it comes to sex, it’s quite natural to have highs and lows, and you are allowed to feel off or depressed during anxiety-provoking situations.
Do your best to be emotionally, physically, and sexually intimate with your partner, and talk about anything interfering with your relationship. Meanwhile, be patient and don’t jump to conclusions if getting back into the swing of things takes some time and work.
Note: This essay is written for couples with generally healthy sex lives but experiencing changes in frequency, drive, or desire due to external stressors like the coronavirus pandemic.
Suppose your relationship or marriage has been plagued by long-term sexual troubles or discontent. In that case, it’s critical to take action and seek professional help from a sex therapist or couples therapist.